Stubborn Love
by onelightshining
Summary: This story starts at the point where the Nashville finale left us, with Juliette revealing the depths of her self hatred to Avery, and his reaction to this. What happens next, and more.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.

Avery was overwhelmed by what he had just heard his girlfriend, Juliette say to him. He was completely taken aback by her words to the point that he was knocked off balance and he stepped back, to rebalance. He took some time to process what she had just told him.

Despite all the pain he felt by her catastrophic mistake, he couldn't help but soften towards her, as she had just opened up and bared all to him. He had always known there was a darkness to her past, and that there was more to her than she had previously let on, but nothing could have prepared him for what he had just heard. The depth of her suffering, pain and self-hatred had been revealed, beautifully, in front of him. He was so confused before, but now, he was an absolute wreck of confusion, mixed with love, pain and guilt. It became glaringly obvious that he'd misjudged the situation before she had made her mistake and he wondered how big a part his actions had played.

So now he needed to decide what he was going to do. His initial anger at the discovery of her infidelity had been dampened by her tears of pain that had washed over him. He felt like she was drowning now, even more than before, and he was the only one who could keep her afloat. He didn't know whether he had it in him to proceed with their relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend, but he would never turn his back on her completely. Especially not now, he loved her far too much. To see her like this, hurt him much more than her mistakes ever could.

He slowly walked across the room and sat down next to her. Tears were intermittently rolling down his face. She looked at him, she looked so broken.

"I really don't know that I can be your boyfriend right now, but I could never leave you completely. I want to be there for you, I'm going to help you get through this. You're never going to be alone. I promise." He looked down as his tears quickened their pace.

He watched her sorrowful eyes as they looked up at what she had lost. She continued to cry but managed to whisper, "Thank you," as a quiet sob escaped.

He reached over to her and pulled him to her and held her. Her small frame shook in his arms, overwhelmed as she thought about what she had just admitted to him, the realisation of the reason for her actions and the grief of losing the love of her life.

He whispered in her ear.

"It's going to be okay."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

Two weeks later, and things had been strange. He'd called her on the phone for chats, he'd dropped in on her, weekly, to see her. She had been looking for a suitable therapist to help her with her problems. He felt that she had withdrawn a little from him, but he sensed this was her trying to keep a healthy distance. They still loved each other after all, and it was proving very difficult for both of them. Feelings as strong as this, you couldn't just switch off. It was going to take time for them both to adjust.

He hadn't wanted to open up to Gunnar, Zoey or Scarlett about what had happened between them, but at the same time, he didn't want them to take sides, or think badly of Juliette so he had told them that she had had her reasons and that there had been miscommunications that had led to her mistake. This, along with the fact that Juliette and Avery had remained on good terms meant that they all were able to overlook what had happened and start a fresh. The fact that Gunnar and Zoey would be working with her professionally had also meant that they wanted a quick and happy resolution of the situation. Avery had forgiven them for not telling of the indiscretion sooner, he could see their problem, and he really needed their friendship right now. Scarlett had surprised him the most, as she had been urging him to forgive Juliette from the start.

So, now Gunnar, Zoey, Scarlett and Avery were sitting in The Bluebird. A couple of Zoey's girlfriends from church had also joined them and they were all chatting, getting along. It was nice.

It was Deacon's night at The Bluebird, and everyone was looking forward to see him play as usual. The friends all sat around, having laughs and drinking. Avery was a little distant, but was talking to Zoey's friends out of politeness. He was mid conversation when he suddenly noticed Zoey and Gunnar exchange looks and his friends grew quiet. He turned to see Juliette walk in the door. She was on her own. She spotted Avery at the table and quickly looked away, as Deacon came over to greet her with a friendly hug. She sat at the table at the opposite end of the room to Avery. She avoided his eyes. Avery thought she probably felt a little awkward, especially as he was with lots of people and she was alone.

"I'm just going to go and say hi to Juliette," he said to the others. He quickly walked over to her and she stood up when she saw him and gave him a shy smile.

"Hey you," she said, as he gave her a quick hug.

"Hey, do you want to come over and join us?" he said, tentatively.

She looked over at the table and thought better of it. "Nah, I'm good over here thanks."

He shrugged. "Ok, if you're sure. But you know where we are if you change your mind." He smiled, but he could sense something was wrong.

She put on her best fake smile and told him she was fine and to go back to his friends, and he reluctantly complied.

Deacon's set started up and Juliette got herself a drink. She drank a double, downed it and then ordered another, straight up. The barman looked hesitant, but he gave it to her when she asked again, a little less friendly. When she turned and walked to the table, Avery caught her eye. She smiled again and walked back to the table.

One of Zoey's friends had taken a liking to Avery and was talking incessantly to him. He continued being polite but he really wasn't interested in what she was saying. He actually just wanted to go and talk to Juliette and see what was wrong but he had felt that he wasn't wanted there and that he should back off a bit. He tried to enjoy the night and as the drink flowed he relaxed a bit and got into Deacon's set and chatted to the friendly girl some more. It was his turn to get the drinks, so he went up to the bar. He watched Juliette walk back to her seat, with yet another drink.

"How many of those has she had?" he asked the barman.

"I've lost count, to be honest," he said, as he made a face. "They're doubles too," he added quietly.

Avery looked over at Juliette, who was staring straight ahead to the stage area. Apparently she was transfixed by Deacon's song. Avery got the drinks that he had gone up for and took them to his friends.

"Guys, do you mind if I go and talk to Juliette?" he asked, apologetically.

"No, not at all," Gunnar replied. The others didn't mind either so he excused himself and made his way over to her table.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" he asked, smiling warmly at her.

"If you want to." He could see straight away she had had way too many. He sat down.

"You having fun over there?" she said, looking down at her hands, nursing her glass.

"Well, if I'm being honest, not really," he said truthfully.

She looked up and looked into his eyes. He could see her beautiful sorrow filled eyes and his heart broke a little more.

"One of those girls seems to be enjoying your company," she said softly, slurring a little as she spoke.

"I was just being polite." He made a face.

She grinned and looked away. His heart melted. He loved it when he made her laugh.

"I need another drink, you want one?" she asked trying to stand up, but it seemed the effect of the alcohol was already taking its toll.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Avery said. Taking the glass from her and sitting her down again.

"You don't need to babysit me anymore. I'm no longer your problem," she said, forlornly.

"I still care about you Juliette, you're gonna make yourself ill. You want that?"

She shook her head. She looked down again, avoiding his gaze.

"Will you let me take you home?" he said, carefully.

She looked up into his eyes. There was so much love between them still, he could feel it, it took his breath away and tied his stomach in knots. Every day he thought it over. Had he made the right decision?

"Okay," she said finally.

He didn't say goodbye to his friends. In that moment, he had forgotten they were even there. Instead he concentrated on getting Juliette to the car and got her in the back seat. He located a bottle of water and got her to drink it and sat in the back with her.

"Bo, can you take us back home please?" He noticed straight away his slip of the tongue. It wasn't his home, however much it felt like it. The truth was, she felt like home, and that's what made everything so hard.

"You don't have to come back, Bo will be around," she said, her eyes closed, with her head back on the seat.

"It's not Bo's job to nurse you in this state," he said, firmly.

"It's not yours either," she grumbled.

"Don't argue. I'm coming home with you, whether you like it or not. This is what friends do. They look out for each other. That's what I'm doing," he said. He was unsure whether he was trying to convince her or himself.

"Fine," she said, sighing.

She kicked off her shoes and slouched further into her seat, causing her skirt to ride up. She was oblivious. Avery couldn't help but look over her slender legs. He missed every part of her so much. He wanted to put his hand on her thigh and give it an affectionate rub, like he had done a thousand times before. But he couldn't. Then he knew he would want more still, and it wasn't fair to either of them. He knew in the back of his mind that he probably shouldn't be taking her back home either. Bo probably would have got it covered. He wondered how many times she had got drunk since they broke up. He looked at her and felt so guilty.

They were soon at her house. Avery thanked Bo and told him he would get her inside. He carried her in, and tossed her shoes down in the hall. She was sleepy, but her hands grasped his neck. He felt her stroke the back of his neck and she sighed. He took her straight to bed and lay her down. She opened her eyes a little and squinted in the half light.

"I feel terrible," she said. He could tell that by looking at her.

"Should I get a bucket?" he said, worried. She nodded.

He fetched a bucket and sat with her, on the edge of the bed.

"Can you help me get ready for bed? I'm so uncomfortable," she said, wriggling around in the bed.

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea," he said, hesitantly.

"Come on Avery, its nothing you haven't seen before," she said, mild irritation tainting her voice.

"Ok," he said, maybe a little too easily.

He located some bed wear for her and then took a deep breath. She pulled herself up to sitting and he pulled off her top and helped her into her vest top. It was so difficult being this close to her. She grumbled at him for leaving her bra on and he rolled his eyes. He managed to get the lacy red bra off without removing the top completely and felt quite pleased with himself. He must have been smiling because she looked at him through squinted eyes again.

"You've done that before, huh?" she giggled and he couldn't help but grin.

"Only for you," he said, letting out a little chuckle.

"You've certainly never been this shy around me before," she said. She lay back down as he pulled down her skirt, revealing matching lacy red knickers. He quickly pulled on her shorts and she helped pull them up by lifting up her bottom. He then tucked her into bed and kissed her on the forehead.

"Goodnight," he said, wishing he could stay.

"You going?" she said, she sounded sad again.

"Yes, but only to the sofa." He patted her hand and she smiled contentedly as he left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

The morning soon came around and Juliette was hit with the dreaded hangover. She crawled out of bed and made her way to the kitchen. Avery was still sleeping on the sofa. He was fully clothed, with a blanket over him. He looked so peaceful. Juliette forced back the tears as she remembered all the times she had kissed him from his sleep. How many times she had snuggled up to him first thing in the morning. It hurt, it hurt so bad she felt sick, and faint. She put her hand on the kitchen counter to steady herself. One lone tear made a bid for freedom, as it fell effortlessly down her cheek. She wanted to go to him now and bury her face in his chest.

He stirred and then opened his eyes.

"Good morning," he said, stretching his whole body out. "How are you this morning?"

"I've been better," she smiled sheepishly. "Thanks for looking after me."

"No problem," he said, returning the smile.

How could something so comfortable, be so uncomfortable at the same time? This was awkward and they both felt it, but at the same time being together felt so right. They both knew they still loved each other. It was just going to take time to get used to it.

"I didn't tell you yesterday, but my therapy starts today. This afternoon in fact," she looked on nervously. "That's why I was a little edgy yesterday."

Avery knew at once. "Why didn't you tell me? It makes sense now."

"I didn't want to admit it to myself. Let alone you," she told him truthfully.

Avery thought for a moment. "Do you want me to take you, and pick you up again?" he really wanted to support her through this, despite the fact that it was so awkward to be around her.

"Would you really do that for me?" she asked, surprised.

"Of course, especially as it's your first one. I'm here for you. You've got to believe me when I say, I want to help you, support you," he smiled.

She smiled, and then carefully said, "You're a good friend." It was like she was trying it out for the first time. She didn't like it but it was better than nothing. At least he was still something to her.

They had breakfast together and Juliette went to have a shower and get dressed. Avery cleared away the breakfast things. When Juliette returned she thanked him for tidying up.

"Oh, you didn't have to do that, but thank you. Do you want to have a shower?" she asked.

"I might head home and have one, I could do with some clean clothes," he said, as he drank the last of his coffee.

Juliette hesitated. "Actually, you have some still here. They are in your drawer, in my room." She looked away awkwardly.

"Oh," he said, thoughtfully. "Ok, if you don't mind then, thank you."

When they were both ready, Juliette offered to drop him off at his house, as she was going to meet with some songwriters that morning at Highway 65.

Avery smiled. "Actually, I'm going there too so if you don't mind, I will go with you."

Juliette looked surprised.

"Why's that then?"

Avery replied. "Well Rayna wants to talk to me about something so I said I'd drop by. Now is perfect."

Juliette smiled, warmly. "Well, great. Let's go then!"

Avery smiled. "I'm driving, you're probably still over the limit, and you driving sober is bad enough."

Juliette laughed, a hearty laugh that made his heart soar. "Well, that's charming isn't it? Fine, you go ahead and drive. You know how I prefer to be driven around anyway." She let out another giggle, as she sauntered past him, in her perfected gait, and he followed behind, smiling.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

Juliette's meeting had finished and she checked her phone as she left the room. Avery had text her about 20 minutes before.

_I'm waiting in the car._

She text him back.

_I'm on my way out now._

She made her way to the car. She could just make out the back of his head sitting in the driver's seat. As she joined him in the car she asked "So what did Rayna want with you?"

He hesitated. "Well…as I am no longer needed for Scarlett's album, she asked me if I would consider producing yours. And any other artist she might take on," he held his breath.

"That's great!" said Juliette, genuinely pleased for him. "Did you accept?"

"No, I haven't yet. I'm not sure about it," he said, giving her a sideways glance.

"Why?" she said, her voice tinged with slight annoyance.

"Come on, think about it. Do we really want to work together? I mean things are complicated enough as it is between us." He said, wishing he could have put that better, but it was too late.

"Well, I could find another producer to work with." She said sulkily. "Or if you want to forget the whole friendship thing then that's fine. I don't want to get in the way of your career. And I certainly don't want to be a burden."

"I'm sorry." He said. "I didn't mean it like that." He took a deep breath.

"Listen, you know how important it is to me that I am here for you. So, I was just thinking that it might be too much for us to be working together as well. Y'know, I don't know about you, but it's hard isn't it? We are still finding our feet with our new…" he searched for the word "…dynamic."

She looked up at him again, this time, her look had softened. "Sorry. I get what you are saying." She looked out of the window glumly. "I just kind of like the idea of working with you, that's all. There's no one else I trust more than you, with my music. Plus, I think you're amazingly talented."

Now it was his turn to gaze out of the window. He couldn't help the fierce glow of pride that he felt when she spoke about him like that. He was so touched that she thought so highly of him.

"Thanks, Juliette. That means so much coming from you." They looked at each other and each gave an awkward smile, as they both looked away again.

"I tell you what, how about I think about it for a while. First things first, we need to get some lunch and get you to your first therapy session," he said, taking charge.

They stopped off for a quick bite to eat from a restaurant round the corner from the private clinic that she was attending for her therapy. She wasn't her usual chatty self, but Avery didn't mind. They were both just as happy sitting in each other's presence. They had never had problems with awkward silences. Juliette flicked through her phone and would say the odd word now and again and Avery read the newspaper, and would answer her. They smiled at each other, Avery made a joke. It was comfortable. Juliette was quiet because she was about to take one of the biggest steps forward in her life. Avery understood that she just needed to be with him and mentally prepare herself. He brought a sense of calm to her that no one else could. He reached forward and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Are you ready? It's time." He said, with a small, understanding smile.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

An hour was almost up. Avery was going to home and then come back, but he hadn't been able to leave. He had turned on the ignition, hands ready on the steering wheel. Then he had thought better of it. What if it went badly? What if she left and he wasn't there? What if she needed him? He needed to make sure she was okay. He had removed his hands from the wheel and turned off the engine. He had listened to the radio, idly flicking through the stations, read through the paper and flicked through random pages on the internet on his phone. He had checked the time a dozen times, and checked his phone for calls or texts, double that amount. Just in case he had missed her call.

Ten minutes after her hour was up, she emerged from the clinic. Her hat was firmly on her head, and her sunglasses were on. She hurried over to the car and climbed in next to him. He instinctively reached over to her and put his hand on her leg. Then, thought better of it and quickly brought it back.

"How did it go?"

"Can you get me out of here?" she said, her voice slightly breaking with emotion.

He did as she said and started up the engine and drove her back to her house. She didn't say a word, and Avery knew he just needed to get her back home. He didn't say anymore.

When they arrived, they remained silent. She removed her hat and glasses and they got out of the car and he followed behind her to her door.

"Juliette, do you want me to go?"

She turned to face him. They were close now and he could see she had been crying, her eyes were bloodshot, her face was blotchy and she looked so fragile.

"Could you come in, just for a little while?"

"Sure," he said, secretly relieved that she had asked. He really wanted to check she was okay before he left.

She opened the door and they went inside. They both sat on the sofa.

"When the therapist asked me what had made me seek help, I had to tell her what I had done to you, what I had done to us. She asked me about my past, about my childhood. I gave it to her in a nutshell. She said we'd be exploring it in more depth in the coming weeks. "

Avery nodded, and listened to what she was saying.

"The truth is, Avery. I know how much I need this, but at the same time, I am terrified. How can I know that I can definitely trust this person? She comes highly recommended, sure, but if someone pays the right price, that's it. All my deepest, darkest fears will be out there for everyone to know. Now that would be the way to finish off my career," she sighed.

"I need to do this. But it's killing me already, and this is the first session," she looked on glumly.

"Juliette, you need to give yourself a break. You are so brave just even attempting to do this. This therapist is a good one, we know that. She is highly recommended and she is a professional. If you don't like her or don't trust her, we just get you another. It's simple. And no amount of money is going to let her jeopardise her career, I'm sure. Not after all this time. I wouldn't let you do anything that would harm you, and I really think this is okay."

Juliette smiled, despite the tears that were now threatening to fall once more. She couldn't believe how much she had been crying recently. It was like she was never going to stop. She wished she could tell Avery that she didn't want him to leave. She wished she could go back in time and erase her infidelity. So many regrets, and nothing she could do about it. It was so incredibly painful.

"I find trusting people so hard, I've been let down, so many times. I've been exploited, I've been made a fool of. I am just so scared. I think you are the only person that I trust 100 per cent."

Avery managed a smile. He felt overwhelmed though, because everything was such a mess. He loved this girl, she was hurting so bad, he was hurting so bad. She needed him, he was going to try and be there for her. He needed her, but he couldn't have her. He wanted her to love herself, and see all the beautiful things he saw in her. It seemed like such a daunting task ahead. He admired so much about her. She was brave, she was strong. She didn't see it, any of it. She could be a brat, her tongue could be sharp, she could be a diva, and under all that tough exterior, there was a girl who could be so kind and thoughtful, and so loving. But, there was also a vulnerable girl who wanted to be loved. He so wanted to be the one that loved her. Well, he already did. But he had wanted to be her everything, forever. He was still hurting so much. Yes, just a huge big mess.

They sat silently for a while and then Juliette spoke up.

"I think I'm going to see if the therapist will come on tour with me. I know this is so important. I don't think it's a good idea to stop before we even get started. I need this to work out. What do you think?"

"I think it's a good idea," he replied.

"I don't suppose you feel like coming out and playing some guitar?" Juliette looked so hopeful.

"I don't know Juliette. That could be too much."

"But I need you," she said, she couldn't hide her disappointment.

"I'll think about it, but honestly, your guitar player, your producer, co-writer and friend? It sounds like a lot. I'm not sure."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

Juliette had her tour all planned out. The first leg was going to be 7 nights on and then a 5 day break and then they would pick up for the next leg, for another 6 nights. Her therapist had confirmed she would be able to come out to a couple of her dates to continue her therapy, with one session then being completed on the break and then another in the second leg.

Avery had turned down the offer of producing Juliette's album and going on tour with her. She was so upset by this and had not spoken to him since. This was not in a bid to hurt him, but just trying to protect herself from more hurt. She had decided it was time to keep her distance, it was growing unbearable to be in his presence.

Two weeks had passed and Avery had heard nothing from Juliette. He had tried to call her but there was no answer. He had stopped by her house, but there was no one in. He felt awful . He had promised to be there for her but suspected that turning down the offer to work with her had seriously hurt their already fragile friendship.

Her tour started the next day and he just couldn't get hold of her. He had spoken to Gunnar who had said he needed to come out with Zoey's friends again and try and forget her. Avery knew he was only trying to help, but Avery really didn't want to be starting to date again. Not when he and Juliette were still so in love, it wasn't fair on the other person and he really didn't want to hurt Juliette more than she was already hurting herself.

But what the heck, going out with some friends, was harmless and he did need to get out and try and move on a little. He couldn't stay home pining after her night after night. So he got ready to go out, making more effort than normal. He was almost ready when there was a knock at the door.

He moved across the room to open it.

"Juliette! Everything ok?"

"Umm, are you going somewhere, " she asked, biting her lip.

"I was yeah, only out with Zoey and Gunnar and a few people," he said, casually.

He stood aside and said, "Come on in."

She entered and he motioned for her to take a seat.

"What's up? I haven't seen you or heard from you in two weeks. I tried calling but I couldn't get hold of you. I feel like you've been avoiding me."

"I have a little. It's just so hard to be with you , to see you. But I really need you now. I had a horrible therapy session today. I just need you."

For him, that was enough. He picked up the phone and called Gunnar.

"Something's come up, Gunnar. I'm not going to make it, sorry. I'll catch you another night," he rung off.

"I didn't mean to spoil your night. Sorry," she said, looking at him anxiously.

"It's fine, really. I'm not that bothered. I saw Gunnar earlier. I haven't seen you in, like, two weeks! I want to catch up with you before you disappear off on tour."

Juliette nodded.

"So what happened at your therapy session? Do you wanna talk about it?"

Juliette sighed. "I had to talk about my childhood today. It was so hard. I had to talk about what happened to me, you know, with my mama's friends, and my mama's neglect. It was tough, and I just feel numb, because it hurts so bad, I have to shut the pain off somehow."

Avery nodded, his eyes didn't leave her as he moved closer and sat next to her on his sofa.

"Why didn't she protect me Avery? That's what mamas should do! I'm so angry that she put me through that. I always felt worthless, that I was nothing. That's why my career means so much. For once in my life, I was worth something to other people. Fans loving me, that meant so much to me. They chose to love me and I felt like I belonged somewhere. For the first time in my life. That's why when my career went so wrong, why it nearly destroyed me."

"But it didn't Juliette, you kept on going and you kept fighting. Because you are strong and brave and you work hard. You are amazing to have been through all of this and be where you are now."

"What? Loveless and in therapy?" she scoffed.

"You know what I mean."

"The only reason I didn't have a breakdown with my career was because I had you. And look what I did to that. With you I had so much. All I wanted was to love someone and be loved back, and you gave that to me. I destroyed it. I will never forgive myself," she shook her head.

He took both of her hands in his. "You have to stop thinking about that, I loved you…still love you, because you are worth loving. You were…are, everything to me and I wish I could make you see that. You're amazing and you have so much pain, and that needs to heal. You are doing the right thing by doing what you are doing. Hang in there, baby, you can do this!"

She looked at him, shaking her head still.

"You're the amazing one," she said. She couldn't believe, after all she had done to him, how highly he still spoke of her. He blew her away.

"Come here," he said, hugging her close.

"I'm going to miss you so much, when I'm on tour."

"I'll miss you too. Promise me you will answer my calls when I ring, " he said, gently.

"I promise," she said, resting her head on his chest.

They stayed like that for a while. They had a drink together and watched some TV and then reluctantly Juliette headed back home, after one final hug goodbye. So much hung in the air between the two of them, but after two weeks without contact, they both found comfort in it, knowing they were going to be apart again, even more so.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7.

Juliette pulled up outside the first venue of the tour. Emily and Glenn accompanied her as they went to rehearsal and sound check. She met her band and dancers and backing singers, most of which she had worked with before. Zoey, who she had not properly met was there and looked on nervously, as Juliette made her entrance.

Juliette shouted a quick hello to everyone, gave them her welcome speech and then everyone got to work on preparing for the show. As everyone settled in Juliette looked to Zoey, who she knew was a friend of Avery's and sang with him in the band he was in.

Juliette walked over to her confidently, but inside she was nervous. She really hoped this wasn't going to be too awkward. She wanted Zoey to like her, she really did. As she approached her the curly haired girl looked up and smiled, shy but friendly.

"Hey, and you are Zoey, right?"

Zoey nodded. "Yes I am."

Juliette put her hand out and gave Zoey's hand a firm shake.

"I've seen you sing with Avery, I know you are really talented. I'm really glad you're here."

Zoey smiled. "Thank you. I'm really glad to be here."

"Well, if there's anything you need, just ask. Any friend of Avery Barkley's is a friend of mine."

The girls exchanged smiles. "Thanks so much," replied Zoey.

Juliette then turned on her heels and spoke to the rest of the crew again.

"Okay, everyone, get yourselves together, we are going to have a run through the order of the set list, then we will run through the first few songs before we take a break. Thanks, everyone."

After a successful rehearsal, Juliette headed back to her hotel room for something to eat, and to get ready for the show. She sat eating with Emily and Glen buzzing around her and she looked at her phone screen. She wondered whether to call Avery and check in, but she decided against it.

The first night of the tour went great. The after party was good, everyone was having fun off the first night buzz. But Juliette felt unwell. She was dizzy and just felt "off". She steered clear of the drink and got chatting to Zoey.

"Ugh, I don't feel well at all tonight. I wonder if I'm coming down with something."

"You don't look too good to be honest." Zoey said, cautiously. She did not want to make her boss mad on her first day, but she seriously didn't look too good.

"Thanks a lot," said Juliette, sarcastically. But Zoey could tell she was just joking around.

"By the way, you did great in the show tonight," she told her new backing singer, smiling.

"Oh, thanks," said Zoey. "I loved the show, you are a great performer." Juliette smiled. Zoey had a nice way about her that had instantly put her at ease the moment she had met her. She actually felt really comfortable around her. That was not a feeling Juliette felt often.

"It's no use, I'm going to have to call it a night, and go to bed. Try and sleep whatever this thing is off," Juliette said, regretfully. "Sorry to leave this early."

Zoey smiled sympathetically. "No you must go and get your rest. You are going to need it for another show tomorrow."

Juliette left the party and found her way back to her hotel room. She was also concerned, as she had her next therapy session, early the next day and she wanted to be strong and ready for that.

It was 11:30pm and she was in bed already. She was just about to lie down and go to sleep, when Avery text her.

_How was the show? You enjoying the after party?_

Juliette text him straight back.

_I'm in bed already. Show was great, but not feeling well, so I'm going to try and get some sleep before my next therapy session, early, and the show tomorrow. Are you ok?_

He replied

_I'm ok. Woah, you must be ill, not like you to leave your after party this early! Get some rest and I'll call you tomorrow and see how you are. Good luck for therapy session. Call me before or after, whenever, if you need to. Goodnight. X_

She replied.

_Ok. I'm sure I'll be fine. Thanks. Goodnight X_


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8.

The next day, Juliette crawled out of bed and still was not feeling her best. However, once she ate some breakfast she was feeling a little better. Her therapist arrived at 8:30am and didn't waste any time in getting down to business.

Juliette was slowly growing to like the therapist. She was very to the point, she didn't mess around but she exuded a warmness that Juliette found comfort in. Juliette could feel herself trusting her and opening up to her. Even though it terrified her, she felt that it was right, just as Avery had said.

This session focused on early memories, before her father's death, before it had all gone wrong. Juliette found it particularly gruelling as speaking about her father reminded him of his love for her. It was also so sad, because she realised that he had really not been around that much because of his job, and the times he was around made such a huge difference to her life. It was also evident that even though her mama was not an addict at that point, she struggled without having her husband around. Juliette voiced the concern to the therapist, that maybe she had been a difficult child and had caused her mama unhappiness. The therapist listened, as she got it all off her chest.

The session was soon over, and Juliette thanked her and told the therapist that she would see her in Nashville the following week when she was on her break week. As she said goodbye to the therapist at the door, tears rolled down her face. Zoey appeared and Juliette was taken aback at the unexpected visit.

"Are you ok?" asked Zoey, concern shadowing her pretty face.

"I'm fine," said Juliette, wiping her face quickly. "What did you want, anyway?"

"I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. I was just wondering how you were feeling today, but also to ask if it's ok if I can get Gunnar in to watch backstage today? He was talking about coming out to see me perform." Zoey looked embarrassed all of a sudden.

Juliette felt a pang, deep in her heart, as she thought about Avery coming out to see her perform at Fort Campbell. A wave of nausea washed over her.

"Are you ok? I'm really sorry to bother you. I guess I probably should have asked someone else."

"No, its fine. I'm feeling ok, thanks. Of course, it's fine for Gunnar to come, absolutely."

Zoey thanked her and left to go back to her hotel room. Juliette went and lay on the bed, and went back to sleep.

When Zoey got back to her room she looked at her phone. She hesitated, and then called Avery.

At 3pm, it was sound check time, and Juliette was ready. She wasn't feeling great but she soldiered on and joined her team on stage to have a rehearsal and sound check. She had thought about calling Avery, but she couldn't face it. She actually needed him too much, and it scared her. They were supposed to be over, but it just wasn't happening. She missed him. Being friends just wasn't enough. He had permeated her heart and soul. He was all she could think about. What she had lost. Ugh.

As a roadie set her up with her ear monitors there was a commotion at the back of the arena as some people came in and she realised it was Gunnar, as Zoey ran to meet him. Juliette watched them embrace and then she saw a very familiar face.

"Avery?" she said quietly to herself.

She clambered down off the stage, a bit wobbly. She walked tentatively over to him. His face had a small smile on his lips, but his eyes sparkled as she looked into them.

"Surprise," he said, nervously.

"What are you doing here?" she said, shocked, but Avery could tell she was pleased to see him.

She held herself back as they embraced. It took everything in her power not to keep hold of him.

"Well, Gunnar was heading here to see Zoey, so I thought I would tag along. I wanted to see how you were, so I thought, what better way than in person?"

"I'm glad you're here," she looked away, but it was too late, he had seen how much she needed him and this confirmed what Zoey had said to him on the phone. She wasn't okay.

"Come and take a seat. I'm just going to do some rehearsals and sound check. You want to watch?"

"Absolutely," he said, making her heart flutter.

As she got up on stage, she felt funny again, but she dismissed it. She took a deep breath and they started the first song, a new one about heartbreak. A song so obviously about Avery and their situation that she actually felt embarrassed. As they neared the end of song, she suddenly felt the room start to spin and things went quiet. She put her hand out and grabbed on to the microphone stand and tried to steady herself.

"Juliette, are you ok?"

Quick as a flash, Avery was by her side as she slumped against him, struggling to keep herself standing. He eased her down to the floor and held her close, as the room continued to spin and then everything went black.

When she came to, she was lying on the floor, with Avery cradling her in his arms, Emily and Glen were crowded around, crouching next to her, while Emily was calling the tour doctor.

Juliette pulled herself up to sitting, as Avery supported her with his arm around her back. He still held her close.

"Sorry everyone, just a bit light headed today, not sure what that was about."

"I think you need to let the doc have a look at you," said Avery, his voice full of concern.

With his help, she pulled herself up to standing and walked to her dressing room. Avery didn't leave her side and kept his arm around her. She was secretly enjoying the closeness. When she faltered he gripped her tighter. She brought up her arm and put it around his waist. She avoided his eyes.

As they got to the room, Avery hesitated.

"Can you come in with me?" she asked. It was unlike her to be so needy but she just felt so much better just having him there.

"Ok. Of course." They went in and the doctor checked her over.

"Everything looks fine, you blood pressure is normal."

"Ok, great, I'll get on with the show."

"Look, as a routine check, I'd like to do a urine sample, if you don't mind?" the doctor asked.

"Ok, sure." Juliette went to the bathroom and Avery waited in the dressing room. He looked at the doctor.

"What are you checking for exactly?" he asked.

The doctor hesitated. "It's just routine."

As Juliette returned, she handed him her sample and the doctor went to the side to do whatever he needed to do with it.

Juliette sat in a chair, and Avery crouched next to her. They stayed quiet for a while, before Avery broke the silence.

"How do you feel about performing tonight, do you think you should?"

Juliette hesitated. "I'm sure I will be fine."

The doctor cleared his throat.

"Juliette, could I speak to you privately for a minute?"

"Erm, its ok. Avery is a close friend. I have no secrets from him," she smiled weakly. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"Well, ok if you're sure… You are pregnant."

Both Juliette and Avery stared at the doctor in disbelief. Juliette's face turned to horror as what the doctor was saying sunk in. Avery ran his hands through his hair and looked at Juliette. They were both so shocked it was a minute or so before anyone spoke.

"Are you sure? I mean…I'm…I'm on the pill. How can this happen?"

"It is very rare, but it does happen. When was your last period?"

"Erm…I don't get them with the pill I am on," she shook her head. Her eyes filled with tears as she processed what was going on. What a huge mess.

"I need to know how many weeks I am. As soon as possible," she said.

Avery was very quiet. She knew there were words that hung in the air between them, that the other did not dare to say right at that moment.

The doctor examined her abdomen as best he could without a table.

"I really can't tell. I can't feel your uterus yet, so you're less than 12 weeks. I will call the local hospital here and see if we can get you a scan tomorrow."

"Ok doctor. Thank you. Why did I faint? Will it be ok for me to perform tonight?"

"It's most likely to be low blood sugar, so if you eat little and often, things like fruit and snacks, you should be fine."

"Ok. Thanks. Let me know about the scan as soon as you can."

Avery said goodbye and thanked him as he left and shut the door behind him. He rubbed his hand over his jaw and avoided Juliette's eyes for a minute.

"Avery, please say something," Juliette was petrified of what he was going to say, but she couldn't bear the silence.

"I don't know what to say. I'm in shock. I mean, you're going to be a mother…I could…I could be the father…"

"Avery, you have to be the father," she looked down and the tears fell quickly down her face. She let out a quiet sob.

"I will never forgive myself if this is Jeff's baby. I am so not ready to be a mother, but I cannot be having Jeff's baby," she shook her head again and stifled another sob.

Avery stared at her for a minute, processing everything some more. This was all so overwhelming.

He slowly walked over to her and crouched down next to her and held her hands.

"It's going to be ok Juliette," he tried to reassure her, but she couldn't stop crying.

"Juliette, we'll know more tomorrow when we know how many weeks you are. "

"What if it's really early? That means it could be Jeff's."

"Juliette, I promised I wouldn't leave you alone, and I meant it. I'm not going anywhere. Whatever happens, I am here for you."

Two hearts were breaking all over again. Why did this have to happen? There was enough going on without this addition.

"I do not want any connection with Jeff. I do not want him permanently in my life. A life long tie to him. Ugh, he hates me and I hate him. What have I done?" Avery could see this broken girl, breaking even more. He could see the resentment of herself in her eyes. It was so hard to see, as he loved her so much.

"Listen to me. I'm not going to let that happen. Maybe we should just forget finding out whose it is, and we will bring the baby up as mine. Whatever happens. I will always support you and the baby. I can be the father figure and Jeff will never know."

"You would really do that for me? Avery, you cannot do that, we are not even together. That woud be a huge undertaking for you. I mean, this is for life." Juliette looked pained. She wanted this baby to be Avery's so much.

"But I love you and I know I can love this baby. If it's not mine, it could have been. That's enough. You know, maybe it's even better not to find out. So, it's mine, no need to know otherwise."

"We cannot do that and you know it! Look Avery, I want you to go. Just go. I cannot do this to you and I think it would be best if you just leave."

"I'm not leaving you."

"Please Avery, I don't want you here."

"I don't believe you."

"It's the truth, please go."

"Don't make me go. I don't want to go. You don't want me to go, you won't even look at me. You don't need to do this. This could be my baby, and I want to look after you. I'm not going. Look me in the eye and tell me you want me to go and I'll go, sure, but I won't go far," she could hear the determination in his voice, and of course he was right. He knew her too well.

"Ok, fine stay… Where are you staying tonight, anyway?"

"Umm, I didn't actually think about that. I guess Gunnar will stay with Zoey. I'll call the hotel and see if they have a room."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9.

Juliette just got out the shower, when there was a knock at the door.

She called through the door "Who is it?"

"It's me," said a familiar voice.

She opened the door, with a small towel wrapped around her body, water still dripping down her legs and arms.

"Well, I guess that explains why I have been knocking for 5 minutes," Avery smiled and Juliette couldn't help smile back as she let him in and closed the door behind them.

"I wasn't exactly expecting you," she said coyly.

"Umm, well there is a slight problem. The hotel is fully booked and the nearest one with space is a 20 minute drive away."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I was going to book that one, I guess I'll take a taxi after the show."

"Avery, just stay with me, its fine. I mean, that bed is plenty big enough. You could sleep in there and I wouldn't even notice you."

"Well, thanks very much," he said, pretending to be hurt.

"You know what I mean," she said, as she playfully swiped for him.

"OK, thanks…if you're sure. How are you feeling anyway?"

"I have been following the doctor's advice, and it seems to be working," she smiled, "I'm trying to forget about everything else for now," she turned away from him and walked towards the bathroom.

"I better get ready. Feel free to make yourself at home and watch TV, help yourself to some food."

Juliette returned to the bathroom, but she left the door open. Avery wasn't sure if she had left it open on purpose. He could see her movement, but just saw glimpses of her, still wrapped in her towel.

"You might want to shut the door Juliette," he called.

There was no answer. "Juliette?"

She appeared at the door suddenly , dressed in her bra and panties.

"Yes?" she asked, she was straight faced, but Avery could see the mischief in her eyes.

"You heard me," he looked away, blushing.

"It's nothing you haven't seen before."

She walked over to the bed and sat down on the bottom by his feet. He was leaning upright on the pillows, trying to avert his eyes, but she got the better of him and he glanced back to her.

"You see my tummy? It's definitely bigger," she bit her lip, with a slight smile and moved closer to him.

He looked at her tummy and concentrated on breathing. As he took all of her in his eyes, he decided that she had never looked more beautiful.

"Oh yeah, you look like you ate too much. Which isn't unusual…you do have a big appetite. You sure the doctor didn't get it wrong and it isn't just gumbo?" he prodded her tummy, gently.

She let out a big hearty laugh and threw her head back. When they locked eyes again, there was a glimmer of old times, happy and in love. It didn't take long for reality to seep back in, but the brief moment was treasured by both of them.

"I better finish getting ready."

"Ok, fatty," he said, playfully.

She pretended to be deeply offended, but she couldn't hold it and cracked up laughing again as she made her way back to the bathroom. He couldn't take her eyes of her. He tried to control himself and his arousal, but it was no use, and it quickly became evident. He hoped she stayed in there for a while, so he could calm himself down.

As Juliette stared into the mirror again, a wave of grief that she had managed to bury, surged again and she felt the tears began to roll once more. She pulled herself together quickly, but she just couldn't believe the pain she had caused herself and Avery with one stupid, meaningless mistake.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10.

The show that night was great. She managed to refuel with snacks, intermittently and subtly. It probably wasn't her best performance ever but she gave a good one and the crowd loved it. Having Avery on the side, watching her was a huge help and she felt so lucky that she still had him as a close friend. After all she had put him through, and what they were about to face, he was still there, literally waiting in the wings.

After the show she decided against the after show party. Gunnar and Zoey were a little surprised, but they knew she had been ill so accepted it. They also looked surprised to learn Avery was staying with Juliette that night.

"Just as friends," Avery had told them. They didn't say anymore.

Once back in the room, Juliette went to get ready for bed. She emerged in a shorts and vest set. Quite modest, and Avery was relieved. He had been worried that she was going try something on with him. However much he wanted to, he knew it wasn't fair on either of them.

Avery went to get ready and Juliette checked her messages. She saw the doctor had managed to get a scan for 1pm the next day. The familiar feeling of dread resurfaced and she tentatively walked over to the bathroom and called through the door.

"The scan's booked for 1pm tomorrow," she called softly.

Avery opened the door, standing in his boxer shorts.

"How you feeling about it all?"

"I'm trying not to think about it until tomorrow," she sighed.

Avery nodded, he understood. He was feeling the same.

"By the way, I didn't bring anything to sleep in, so it's going to have to be these," he grinned awkwardly.

"Don't worry. It's not like you're irresistible or anything," she shot him her mischief look again and this time it was his turn to act hurt.

"Thanks very much!"

"Hey, you started it with the fatty comments!"

He laughed. "But you are a bit fat now, with your gumbo baby," he gave a mock sympathetic look.

"And you're not irresistible,"

On impulse he reached out and grabbed her round the waist to tickle her. She shrieked with surprise, laughing, but also gasping at the sudden contact.

He released her. "I'm sorry, forgot myself for a minute."

"It's fine, we were just having a bit of fun. It cheered me up anyway."

They got into bed and looked at each other awkwardly.

""It's going to be ok," he said softly and reached over and put his arm around her.

She snuggled into him, and they lay like that for a while.

The touch of their bare skin on each other was comforting but also sensual. They craved each other so much, and being in bed, that close, further intensified, more than either of them had contemplated.

They were both silently fighting with themselves.

"Goodnight," he said, kissing her on the top of the head.

"Goodnight," she murmured. She had never felt so overwhelmed. The tension hung around the room as they both turned over, away from each other. Trying to put distance between themselves in hope that they could distance themselves from these intense feelings, that seemed to be growing further at a rapid rate.

Avery lay there with his eyes wide open. His mind was racing. He could be a father, the woman lying next to him, that he loved with all his heart, may be carrying his baby. She still loved him, he knew that. Their love was immense, it ran so deep. He felt he may never find his way out of it. What would that mean for him, for his future? What if the baby wasn't his? Could he love it like it was? It would be hers, afterall, and there was nothing he loved more than her.

Juliette lay there, praying it was Avery's, not Jeff's. Hoping he would want the baby and even if they couldn't be together, be a father to their baby. If it was Jeff's she wouldn't let him be a part of the baby's life. She couldn't do that to the man she loved so deeply. Even if that meant accepting that they would never be together.

"Avery? Are you awake?"

"Yeah."

He turned over and came face to face with those eyes full of sorrow and pain.

"I don't think I'm going to make a very good mama," she said, as tears formed in her eyes again.

He brought up his hand a brushed away the first tear as it fell, and stroked the side of her face and then her head, feeling the softness of her hair.

"You are going to be the best mama, I just know it,"

"If it's yours, then you will be the most amazing father. I would be so proud to have you as the father of my child."

He let the emotion overwhelm him as the tears rolled down his own face. He couldn't stand it. He moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her on the forehead and then on the nose and then finally he pressed his mouth against hers. At first she moved back, in surprise, but then he felt her mouth open and their tongues found each other as they shared the most amazing and passionate kiss. She gasped as the kisses quickened their pace and became more frantic, as their tongues explored the familiar territory, full of excitement and love.

His hands moved down her body. He wanted to touch her all over. He had missed just touching her caressing her, breathing in her scent, feeling her quivering against his touch.

He pulled her as close as he could and stroked her back underneath her vest top. They continued kissing and she finally moved her hands from his face and chest and began to rub his back.

She pulled back suddenly. He continued to hold her as they stared into each other's eyes.

"I'm not sure we should do this," she said, hesitating.

"Really?" he said, surprised.

"Well, if you don't want to be with me, as my boyfriend, then I'm just not sure it's a good idea. I mean, I'm so not emotionally strong enough to cope with the consequences. I just don't think it's fair. I'm trying to get over you, but I still love you. Having sex with you, well I can't not connect with you on an even deeper level, so it would set me back a lot. There is so much going on right now," she looked at him regretfully, as she pushed away from him.

"I'm sorry, Juliette. I guess I just got caught up in the moment."

"So did I…it's fine. But we should get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow," that familiar feeling of dread returned to her stomach.

"Ok, goodnight," he said quietly, squeezing her hand.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11.

The bright morning sun filled the room and gently warmed Avery from his sleep. He opened his eyes and realised that they had both been sleeping entwined with each other, blissfully unaware. Juliette was lying right next to him, his arm was underneath her back, wrapped around her, with her head resting on his shoulder. He was lying slightly on his side. He suddenly remembered what had happened in the middle of the night. He had been ripped from his sleep by what he came to realise was Juliette crying out in fear, she had begun sobbing and he was quick to console her and calm her down. He wasn't even sure that she had woken up. He had gently soothed her and she had soon returned to sleeping calmly. He couldn't remember much after that, so assumed he had drifted off shortly after.

As he was thinking this over, he looked at her sleeping peacefully there in his arms. He couldn't get rid of the thoughts in his head, how right it felt, that she belonged there and all that mattered at that moment was how much he loved her. As he lay there she began to stir and opened her eyes. She looked disorientated at first. He watched as the realisation set in and she gave a small smile as she looked up at him.

"So what am I doing all the way over here? I thought we agreed that we should stick to our sides?"

He grinned, "Technically, we just said no sex. All we are having is a little cuddle, and I think really close friends do cuddle."

"I'm pretty sure that close friends don't cuddle in barely any clothing, in bed."

He laughed. "Okay, maybe you're right. But what if one of those friends was having a nightmare in the middle of the night and woke the other, and the only way to calm her down was talk to her and cuddle and reassure her?"

He looked at her and awaited her response. He was a little worried, as he didn't want to embarrass her.

"Oh, I'm really sorry. I don't even remember," she said. She looked thoughtful for a moment.

"It's fine, really. I'm glad you weren't alone."

She smiled, a genuine, warm smile. "Me too. I guess I am feeling anxious about today."

He continued to cuddle her and gave her a gentle squeeze.

"It's ok. I'll be with you the whole way. Whatever happens."

She slowly rose to sitting and gently pulled away from his embrace.

"Thanks. I better get ready. I'll have to get to the next venue for the tour, straight after the appointment."

Juliette really struggled to eat lunch. Avery tried to coax her, and reassure her, but it was no use. She felt like her world was ending. She couldn't bear to think that the father of her baby could be her worst enemy. It was bad enough that she was having a baby in itself.

"I'm too young to have a baby. This should not be happening, I am always so careful with birth control. This is just not fair. I should be suing the manufacturer, goddammit!"

She slammed her fist down on the table.

"I know it's not great timing but I think we just need to figure out what we dealing with and then go from there. This is happening, and it _will_ be ok. You will make the best of it, and work it out. You always do."

There was that reassuring smile of his again and Juliette fought with all her might against it.

"If it's not yours, Avery, I don't know what I am going to do," she shook her head.

"I told you already, I'm not going anywhere. You believe me don't you?"

She looked up at him. The sincerity in his eyes, his calm, collected voice. She wanted to just lay in his arms and think of only him. She had wrecked it all, it would never be the same. Hell, she would never be the same, she could never forgive herself for this.

The scan appointment flew around too quickly. They climbed the steps in the back entrance of the hospital, both disguised; her in her hat and glasses, him in glasses. Once inside, the staff ushered them through a back corridor to the sonographer in a room. She was shaking a little and looked so pale. Avery was so worried how much this was affecting her. He was so worried for the outcome, not for him, but for her. If it was Jeff's, he was so scared about what she would do. He knew she wouldn't handle it well at all. She had been through so much recently, he wasn't sure how much more she could take. That was why it was so important to him that she knew he was going to be there for her.

The sonographer asked her to pull up her shirt and put the gel on her tummy, ready for the ultrasound. She didn't waste any time getting started.

Avery reached out to Juliette and held her hand and gave it a squeeze. He didn't let go and she suddenly clenched it back. Both their eyes locked on the screen as they suddenly saw movement on what had been a blank screen. There was a baby.

The sonographer chatted away to them whilst making the appropriate measurements and pointing out body parts. Head, spine, arms, legs, even a little foot.

Juliette's eyes didn't leave the screen as the sonographer spoke. She took it all in and let the tears form in her eyes. She didn't fight it, as a couple of them made their way down her face.

Avery also stared at the screen, mesmerised. His mouth slightly open, his eyes wide. He had been wondering if there would be much to see at this stage. Now, he could see it all, there in front of him. All he could think was, please let this perfect little thing be mine.

The sonographer looked to Juliette and broke both of their thoughts.

"So, I understand you don't have a last menstrual period date, so haven't been able to date the pregnancy?"

Juliette couldn't speak.

Avery leaned forward, "yes that's right."

"Ok, well, judging by these measurements, you are 11 weeks 6 days pregnant, so 12 weeks tomorrow!" The sonographer smiled, she had no idea what news she was bringing.

Juliette's eyes still glistened with tears but suddenly grew wide and alive.

"So conception would have taken place about 9 weeks ago?"

Juliette could not hide her delight. She looked to Avery who was grinning back at her, his head slightly leaning to one side.

"That's right, Miss Barnes. In a normal cycle, 9 weeks ago would be spot on."

Avery helped Juliette down from the bed and didn't hold back in giving her a huge hug.

"I guess that means we are going to be parents in 6 months time then?"

Juliette took in a breath. "I can't believe it," she whispered, stroking her tummy.

"I can't believe that little baby is growing inside me right now. I just have so much running through my head! I have to talk to Rayna, I have to prepare a nursery, and the baby will need loads of stuff that I need to buy…" she rambled on and on, with each sentence cementing in her head, that this was really happening. They were going to be parents.

Once in the car, Juliette noticed that Avery had suddenly become very quiet.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure why?" he avoided her gaze. She knew something was up, and she began to feel worried. Was he having second thoughts?

He dropped her off and said goodbye, but something didn't fit. Was she being too sensitive?

So many thoughts were running through her mind. She waved him off and entered her house. She'd give him some space. See what happened. She couldn't expect him to be there all the time anyway, she had to depend on herself. She had done this all of her life, so she could certainly do it again. She knew that she couldn't expect too much, he still had to lead his life. He didn't want to be tied to someone he couldn't be with. He deserved better. Maybe some distance wouldn't hurt. Seeing the baby, their baby, her baby on that screen, had kicked her into survival mode. She was going to do this.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12.

Juliette flew to the next venue that evening. She arrived at 5pm, in time for a quick sound check and then quickly went to get ready. The night flew by so quickly, and instead of going to the after party, she made her excuses and went back to the hotel to get her rest for the next day. She still had 4 more nights to get through before the short break in the tour.

When she got back to the hotel room, she was surprised to see there was no news from Avery. No missed calls or texts. She felt a familiar sinking feeling inside. She felt sad.

The next day Rayna was coming out to see the next performance and so she set up a meeting for 11am with Rayna, Glenn, Emily and Bo. These were people that were on her side and she needed to let them know what was going on. They were people she could depend on and she knew it was important they knew, so she could surround herself with support that she needed. This would be especially true if Avery really was going to pull back.

They met in her hotel suite. She got them to all take a seat in the lounge area while she paced back and forth.

"I have something to tell you," she paused, "Umm, well, I have to tell you something important."

There eyes didn't leave her and they all sat quietly waiting. No doubt they were wondering what controversy she was dealing with this time.

"I'm pregnant, and before you ask, yes it is Avery's. I've only just found out, I'm almost 12 weeks," she breathed in and out again and looked at them and braced herself for their response.

"What?" Glenn stared, open mouthed.

"Congratulations," said Bo.

"Oh my goodness!" said Emily, smiling and opening up her arms to embrace Juliette. "Are you okay?"

"I was really worried, well I am still, but when I saw the baby at the scan, well, I knew, I just have to do this. I can do this. Right?" she looked so nervous and scared, but her eyes shone with the notion of a new challenge.

Rayna jumped up. "Of course you can do this, it's great news."

Juliette was relieved at her response but sensed her worry. "I'm sorry Rayna, this wasn't planned, but I am going to work so hard before this baby is born. I will be back as soon as I can and I won't let you down."

"I know it. It will be fine, and I will help you all I can." Rayna smiled, "we can still make this work."

The two women shared a silent mutual understanding, mother to mother, woman to woman.

* * *

The next few days passed Juliette by. It was like she was on another planet. She had so much on her mind, so much to think about. The lack of communication from Avery was really upsetting her. She had had minimal texts from him. They were only checking in texts, just seeing that she was ok. He hadn't called her once. She was so worried she was losing him altogether.

The day finally came to head back to Nashville. Juliette was so relieved. She was exhausted. She got home and just wanted to sleep. When she got home, she checked her messages. Deacon had left her a message to call him back so she did.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Deacon. I just got back from the first leg of my tour. I'm just returning your call?"

"Ah, yes Juliette, hi! Thanks for calling back. I was just wondering. I'm doing a special night at The Bluebird tomorrow night, and I was wondering if you would sing with me?"

Juliette thought for a minute. "Um, I don't know…"

"Come on Juliette, I really want you to do it. Please!"

"Ah, sure, okay, yes. I'll do it. Thanks."

They chatted for a bit longer and then rung off and Juliette went to bed.

* * *

Avery sat on his couch at his apartment next to Deacon. He had stopped by to ask Avery to sing with him at The Bluebird the next night for a special show he was doing. Avery was hesitant and a little distant and Deacon had instantly picked up that something was wrong.

"Hey buddy, just tell me what's up." Deacon smiled, encouragingly, as he had taken his seat.

Avery looked perplexed. He really didn't want to mention it to Deacon without clearing it with Juliette but he needed to talk to someone. He felt like he was bottling it up all inside and didn't want to talk to Juliette about it, as he didn't want to add to her burden.

"Please don't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you."

"I won't tell a soul," said Deacon, truthfully.

"Juliette's pregnant. It's mine," he nodded slowly, as he processed what he had just said. It was the first time he had acknowledged it to anyone other than Juliette.

"Wow, congratulations. So, what ya gonna do?"

Avery sighed, "I told Juliette that I am gonna be there for her, and help her raise the baby."

"Right, but you're not happy?"

"Well, it's a shock of course, not something I was planning on doing anytime soon. But, seeing the baby on the screen. I realised that we could do this. I could be a Dad. Well, I'm going to try. But my worry is, that I can't help Juliette financially. This bothered me before this happened, so now even more so. I mean, I want to provide for my kid. I don't want Juliette footing the bill for everything. But also I just worry, mostly on what I'm missing. I still love Juliette, and being without her, ugh, I don't know. Everything is a mess, and I just don't know what to do. I mean, look at me, I'm a nobody. Juliette has always been out of my league and now we are having this baby and well, what do I have to offer?"

Deacon smiled. "You have a lot to offer, have you thought about taking Rayna up on the producing job?"

Avery replied quietly. "I think of it a lot actually."

"So why don't you do it? For the baby's sake?"

"Yes I guess it makes sense. It will be hard working with Juliette again though."

"I think you need to talk to her instead of me, tell me how you're feeling. My advice is, don't miss out on your kids upbringing. Do what you need to do, but ultimately, don't lose the one person you love, if everything is telling you to give her another chance. You two are great together. She made a big mistake, sure, but I can promise you this, she will be punishing herself relentlessly for this. She's got a lot of problems, and we both know she's trying hard to overcome them now, and that is largely down to her love for you, and how bad she screwed up. I've been there, it is a tough place to be."

Avery let Deacon's words sink in as he left.


	13. Chapter 13

*All songs used from Nashville. I don't own anything.

Chapter 13.

Juliette entered The Bluebird and straight away clocked Avery at the bar with his back to her. He was speaking to a woman, and her heart skipped a beat, and sank as her stomach filled with dread again. She spotted Zoey, who waved over to her and then Deacon greeted her with a friendly hug.

"So glad you can make it. "

"Me too," she smiled, nervously. Deacon excused himself to welcome some other newcomers and Juliette glanced back over to the bar. Avery was still in deep conversation with the two women, but she could now see the side of him. She knew she needed to be cool with this, but inside her heart was screaming.

Avery turned to look at her at that moment and she managed to shift her gaze quickly. At least she hoped she did. But within minutes, Avery had excused himself and was at her side.

"Hey Juliette!" he gave her a quick hug, and he felt her slightly stiffen in his embrace.

"Hey, haven't heard your voice in a while. I had forgotten what you sounded like."

"Look, about that. I just needed to have some time to process everything. I'm sorry I have been distant. I didn't mean to not be there for you."

"It's fine," she said, with a slight edge to her voice that Avery knew very well. She was not fine with it at all.

"I need to talk to you. Could we meet tomorrow? Maybe for lunch?"

"Sure, ok," she said, trying to ignore the fact that her heart was once again on fire.

At that point, Rayna and Maddie came in and before Rayna could stop her, Maddie had run over to Juliette and gave her a huge hug hello.

Rayna smiled apologetically at Juliette and Avery and they all exchanged hellos.

Maddie piped up, "Can you please tell my mom that I have what it takes to make it big, she will not stop going on about school!"

Juliette smiled warmly at Maddie. "You are very talented and you are going to be a star one day, but right now you need to do as your mama tells you. If I have one word of advice, it's enjoy your childhood while you can! There's plenty of time for all the other stuff. "

Rayna smiled at Juliette and went to find some other people.

"Mom, can I please stay with Juliette?"

Rayna looked at Juliette. "Umm…"

"Of course you can," said Juliette, nodding.

"Shall we grab a table, the shows gonna start in 5 minutes," Avery said to Juliette.

Juliette was taken aback. "Oh sure, ok. Sorry, I thought you came with someone else."

Avery looked confused. "Um, no. Hey, you don't have to sit with me if you don't want."

Maddie suddenly looked awkward.

"Don't be silly." Juliette made a face at Avery, that made him laugh, and they sat down at a nearby table.

"Y'know Maddie, your mama really loves you so much and just wants what's best for you. The music business is a tough place for a young girl. I wish I'd had a protective mamma when I was your age. Lord knows I needed it." Juliette looked sad for a moment, but then shifted her attention back to Maddie.

"Get yourself through school, you can keep writing, keep performing small shows, but above all, listen to your mama, because you have a good one and you need her. You'll need her for a long time yet, and remember she knows the business well. She's just trying to protect you. You'll thank her for it one day."

Maddie nodded. "It's just so hard, when I know what I want to do now."

Juliette patted her hand. "I know, but I think we all know you are going to get there."

Maddie grinned and looked to the stage where her parents were getting ready to perform. She gave them a wave.

Juliette looked at Avery who was staring at her intensely. He quickly looked away, obviously sprung. He was really touched by her words to Maddie. She had given good advice, the same advice that Maddie's parents had probably said a thousand times but the way Juliette had said it to Maddie, filled with warmth and love, and empathy, she had really gotten through to her. Not only was he impressed, he felt proud of her. He couldn't help himself, as his hand slid under the table and squeezed her knee. They exchanged smiles and then Deacon announced the first song.

Deacon and Rayna started. They did one of their old songs, and it was a hit, of course. Then Deacon did a solo and dedicated it to Maddie. Maddie grinned a huge grin the whole way through the song. When he finished he said "For my next song, I'm going to ask Juliette and Avery to come to the stage, where are you?"

Juliette and Avery exchanged glances and walked together up to the stage.

Deacon smiled warmly at both of them. "Do you guys mind doing a song together so I can go and sit with my daughter for a minute?"

Avery looked to Juliette, feeling extremely worried about what she was going to say.

"Of course," she smiled, and looked at Avery, her eyes sparkling.

"Great, thanks. Ok, so here is Juliette and Avery with Everything I'll Ever Need."

Avery picked up his guitar and started strumming.

The atmosphere in the room was great. The crowd were drawn to the sweet sound of two voices that complimented each other so beautifully, but also the chemistry. The something special between the two was translated through their music. They didn't shift their gaze the whole time, it seemed they only had eyes for each other.

When the song finished, the crowd applauded and cheered and the two said thank you and then left the stage.

Juliette walked to the bar and ordered an orange juice. Avery followed.

"Maybe we should talk now," he said cautiously.

She looked at him thoughtfully and nodded.

They went outside and sat in Avery's car.

"The reason that I haven't called is because I have been really worried about providing for the baby financially. I mean, money is tight and I just about cover expenses as it is."

"This is why you have been so distant?"

"Yeah."

"Avery, I thought you had changed your mind. I thought that you didn't want to be involved or something."

She was so relieved.

"Are you kidding? Juliette, don't get me wrong, I am scared about having a baby and being a father, but I am really looking forward to being a father too, I did want to be one eventually. Just maybe not this soon."

Juliette let out a laugh. "You're telling me!"

"But I still can't shake the feeling that I've failed before I've even got started. I don't want you to have to foot the bill for everything. I want to be able to support you both, and I'm just so worried that I won't be able to do that."

"Avery, it doesn't matter though because I don't need your money. What I do need is someone I can rely on, someone who is going to be there and be a supportive Daddy and someone who is going to love this baby and be the best Daddy in the world, and nobody fits that description better than you. You'll do more for us, by just being you. The richest man in the world wouldn't cut it as a father in your place. You are going to be the best. I know it. This kid is going to be so lucky to have you as a father."

Avery looked away as tears sprung to his eyes. He was overwhelmed by her words, as he could tell she wasn't just saying it. She meant every word. He could feel the love in every syllable as they ignited his heart. It was so good to hear someone he loved so much, talking about him in this way.

"Juliette. I think I made a mistake," he said quietly, he couldn't look at her.

"What?" she sounded confused.

"I made a terrible mistake, breaking up with you. I think we should be together."

"Avery, what are you talking about? We cannot be that couple who get back together just for the sake of a baby…there's no need honestly."

He heard the break in her voice as she said it and he then turned to look her straight in the eye.

"No, Juliette, it's not…"

She cut him off. "It's ok, Avery. We can make it work like this. We can be a part and raise this baby. We can work something out. You can still be a huge part of the baby's life. You don't have to worry about that."

"No, Juliette, it's not just because of the baby, it's because I love you, and I want to be with you. I want to be with both of you. All together, we can be a family."

Juliette bit her lip, and looked at the sincerity in his eyes, but she still couldn't give in to it. Her heart hurt as she searched for the words.

"Us having a baby together does not change what I did. I still broke your heart, I ruined what we had. We will never be the same. I don't deserve you and you deserve someone better," she fought to keep it together, but it was too late as the first tear rolled down her cheek.

She quickly opened the door and jumped out the car and hurriedly made her way back inside. She spotted Rayna, as Maddie made her way up on stage.

"I thought you were gonna miss it!" Maddie exclaimed happily, as she made her way to sing with her Dad.

Juliette sat down with Rayna.

"Everything ok?" Rayna asked, suspiciously.

"Not really," Juliette said quietly, staring at the stage.

Rayna patted her hand and gave her a sympathetic smile.

Juliette gave her a brief overview of what had happened, but before Rayna could respond, Deacon introduced Maddie, and the song they were going to sing.

Juliette watched but her eyes shifted to the bar. Avery was standing there looking at her. He looked devastated. She loved him so much, which is why she was saving him from a life with her. She was damaged goods and he was best off without her. He deserved better, like she told him.

She looked back to the stage and concentrated on the performance. Maddie was amazing, of course, and she and Deacon sounded beautiful together as they sang "Believing". The lyrics touched her deeply, and she couldn't help get swept up in the lyrics as she thought about Avery and all that had been between them. Her eyes welling up with fresh tears she looked over at him and smiled apologetically. He smiled back, but she could see it was tinged with sadness.

The next time she looked at him, he had disappeared. She scanned the room and saw him crouching down next to Zoey and Gunnar.

After the song, Juliette watched as Avery approached Deacon and began talking to him intently. Deacon smiled a big smile, and nodded.

Juliette's heart began to beat fast, but she didn't know why.

"Hey everyone, I'm going to be playing another song with Avery, but we're going to be joined by Zoey and Gunnar also."

The crowd applauded as the two joined them on stage.

Avery picked up his guitar and made his way to the lead microphone.

"Hi everyone, I just wanted to play a song for someone very special tonight. It's called One Light Shining. Juliette, this is your song. I hope you like it."

The song started up and Juliette stared, entranced at Avery, while the lyrics he wrote for her poured out of him. She could feel the emotion in the lyrics, the love he felt for her in his voice. She couldn't believe that despite what she had done to him, here he was singing these amazing heartfelt lyrics to her.

She could not take her eyes off him, the whole time he was singing. She loved the way he sang, the words he sang, the music was perfect. It was amazing, he was amazing, Then she froze.

He looked right at her as he sang "…we're in this thing together, I ain't afraid to say forever…"

Her breath was knocked out of her, she felt like she was suffocating. The pit of her stomach grew heavy, her heart fluttered and she felt faint.

So much love, she loved him so much. He had wanted her forever. What had she done? How could she get past this? How did he still want to be with her, after all this?

Rayna broke into her thoughts.

"You need to stop running and realise what you have here. You have the love of a good man, and someone once told me that there are very few of those around. Don't throw that away. If he's forgiving you, and I think he is, you need to trust that he knows what he's doing."

"I need some water." Juliette got up and went to the bar and got a drink of water.

Two drunks were getting rowdy and suddenly fell back and banged into her hard, making her stumble backwards.

Avery was suddenly at her side.

"Hey watch it!" Avery shoved one back as the guy quickly put his hands up in peace.

"Avery, I'm fine, really."

She grabbed his hand and pulled him away. He clasped her hand and then took her other hand in his other hand.

"Sorry. I thought they hurt you."

Her heart skipped a beat at his protectiveness.

"What did you think of the song, did you like it?"

"It's an amazing song…"

"But?" he said, looking hurt and worried.

"…It just reminds me of what I have lost."

"But you haven't lost me. I'm here."

"It's not the same. You're never going to trust me, not in the same way. I don't want to live like that."

"But…"

"Avery, I'm going to go home. I need some time, but I'll call you tomorrow."

She gave him a hug and kissed him on the cheek.

"Ok," he said, defeated.

She slipped out the door and was gone.

"Did it work?"

Avery turned to see Deacon behind him. He shook his head, obviously at a loss for words, his misery haunting his eyes.

Deacon smiled, sympathetically.

"This is worth fighting for. You know it, I know it and deep down she knows it. But it's been buried with fear and self hatred. You need to make her see it. Go after her, get through to her."


	14. Chapter 14

*WARNING - ADULT CONTENT

Chapter 14.

Juliette sunk down onto the couch and sat there in silence as the tears at last could fall freely. She pulled out her phone and looked at her favourite pictures. One of Avery, one of them both together, another one of him raising his eyebrows at her. She smiled to herself, in spite of her tears.

A knock at the door startled her. She placed the phone on the couch and made her way over to the door.

"Who is it?"

"Guess…"

She slowly pulled the door open and she took a deep breath as she saw Avery staring back at her.

"I do trust you. I forgive you. I want to forget what has happened and move on, start again. I wrote that song for you and all that it is, still stands. I want you and our baby forever. I could never love anyone else as much as I love you, there's nowhere else I'd rather be than with you. You are it, for me. If you love me as much as I think you do, and you want nothing more for me than to be happy then you need to give me what I deserve, and that is you. "

He paused and she stepped back as he walked in and closed the door behind him. They were both crying now.

He took a step closer to her, he ached to hold her.

She took a step back, so afraid of her own emotions.

"If you can tell me, that you don't love me and that you don't want to be with me, then I'll go. But, I don't think you can. I know you love me, we belong together, all three of us. We should be a family. It would make me so happy."

She was speechless as she saw the most amazing man, standing before her, baring his heart to her. He wanted her, despite everything. Things like this did not happen for Juliette Barnes. She was astounded by the depth of his love for her.

"You don't think you deserve me, and I have always thought you were out of my league. So let's forget the thinking and trust what our hearts are telling us. Forget your thoughts, what is your heart saying?"

With every word he took a step closer, inching forwards, slowly but confidently. He finally reached for her, and pulled her to him as she relented and melted into him. He took her face in both of his hands and gently lifted it to his. Her eyes shone with love and anticipation as he moved his lips closer to hers.

"I love you," he whispered, "both of you."

Finally the emotion bubbled up from her heart and fought the silent battle with her mind. "I love you too...so much."

Half laughing, half crying their lips finally found each other and they held each other tightly as they shared the most amazing, passionate kiss. All the longing that they had felt over the last few weeks, the love that had continued to burn bright was encompassed in that kiss.

Avery swept her up in her arms and they continued kissing each other as he carried her to the bedroom.

As he lay her down on the bed, he pulled off her clothes and then his own, as his kisses changed from hungry and passionate into gentle and tender. They were the sweetest kisses she had ever had, as they lingered on every part of her, desperate to touch her, exploring her once again.

His kisses retraced their steps, as they once again found her mouth and slowly built in intensity. Juliette felt his hands gently caressing her body. They started at her face and hair, but soon they were making their way down her arms, to her chest and finally to her breasts where they began to share the intensity of the kisses.

Juliette moved to try and push Avery onto his back, in order to take her usual position, but Avery playfully shook his head.

"I think you need to stay where you are."

"What?" she said, incredulously.

He kissed the 'what' away and playfully nibbled her lips and then down her neck as his hands moved down too. She wriggled underneath him to try and reach his hands quicker.

"There's no rush Juliette. "

"Speak for yourself," she exclaimed, with an edge to her voice that he knew all too well.

"Be patient, it'll be worth the wait."

He touched her most intimate parts, as she quivered underneath his touch. So desperate for him after all these weeks. Their kisses never faltered, the intensity continued as they reacquainted themselves with each other's bodies. Juliette couldn't help but gasp as he handled her with such tenderness and love. He was taking his time with her, and where at first she had found it frustrating, she slowly began to relax as she realised the depth and meaning of what he was doing. This wasn't just sex, it was so much more. Connections were being made on so many levels.

He pulled his mouth slightly away from hers and stared into her eyes staring back at him. He gave her a slight smile and she smiled back shyly, her eyes filling with emotion.

"Are you ready for me?" he asked, raising his eyebrows slightly.

She nodded, "I thought you'd never ask."

He slowly pulled himself into position and gently brushed his lips with hers. He started off with slow sensual kisses, gradually built them up until they were passionately kissing again. He entered her as she moaned into their kisses. Her senses were on fire as she could hear his breathlessness, she could feel his hand sweeping her hair back from her face, as the other supported his weight, and she could smell that sweet smell of him that she knew so well. His hands caressed her arms and then across to her nipples. It was always amazing between them, but tonight it was breath-taking. As their bodies rocked together he began to thrust as she pulled him as close as she could, grabbing on to his butt. They were both experiencing prolonged pleasure, evident by the way they moved with each other and the way they breathed and moaned.

When they finally both reached their climax they lay there still, as one. Avery put his face in her neck and inhaled the scent of her hair and kissed her neck lightly.

They lay naked in each other's arms, so content.

"That was amazing." Juliette said, still breathless.

"It sure was," agreed Avery.

"I am so happy," said Juliette. "You make me so happy."

Avery smiled. "You make me very happy too."

"I'm also relieved you didn't take no for an answer, and came here tonight."

"I'm definitely glad I came here tonight," he said, with a look of mischief.

"So I guess the tricky part is over now? We are back together and now we just have to figure out how we are going to bring up a baby? She sighed.

"Well actually, there is something else we have to do, the tricky part is far from over."

"What's that then?" she said, looking worried.

"We have to tell my parents." Avery said, looking at her intently.

"Umm, does that mean I have to meet them?" she said, slightly panicked, slightly intrigued.

"Yes, it does. But don't worry. They will love you. It's me that they will have the problem with," he said, rolling his eyes.

_**Possibly to be continued...**_


End file.
